Who does not have s story to tell about love and romance? I know I have several to share. One of my favorites was what I call the “Venus Fly Trap Relationship”. You meet someone and are so excited to be in love. You ignore and/or selectively forget any or all of the red flags and warning signs you recognize about this person. You relentlessly continue to be with him/her. After you have invested your heart, body and soul, your eyes slowly begin to open to the truth about this person. You realize he or she is not the person you thought them to be. There are issues, patterns and differences coming up to soon in only few weeks, in this love happening! You are already to go to marriage counseling and you are not even married. What did I do? I got out of this relationship after going to counseling and trying to make it work. It didn’t and then I decided to get out of it!
Heart lessons are painful and our relationship patterns and attractions are difficult to break. Did you ever thing that the same person keeps showing up in your life with a different face? Some patterns are hard to break until we become consciously aware of our patterns.
At a relationship seminar several years ago, the facilitator said: If you are someplace and you see someone across the room that you are immediately and irresistibly attracted to, RUN! I learned that lesson with my definition of the Venus Fly Trap relationship. I got involved with a person too fast and too soon without knowing him. Getting to know someone takes time and a relationship takes time to develop and nurture. I have girlfriends for years and still enjoy learning new aspects about them. And, yes, there are couples that meet and marry within weeks. These couples learn about each other and grow together while being in a committed relationship.
Healthy relationships begin in the connection on a being level such as enjoying being together. Two people begin to feel an attraction to each other. You may not know what the attraction is but you know you like each other.
The lessons about love that I have learned are as follows: The first level is the spiritual, the bond, the 2nd is the intellectual/ mental level, the 3rd is the emotional level and the 4th is the physical level. The bond two people share has a deeper meaning. The bond could be a friendship or intimate relationship bond. This is an important step to take the time to know the difference. The next level is the mental and intellectual connection. During this step you both share conversations with each other on a variety of topics and connect on a mental level. The third step is the emotional level. During this step your hearts begin to open, connect and cultivate in the knowing of the bond you share, and the knowledge you have about each other. You are growing and nurturing each other in the heart connection. As the relationship develops, you both move into the last step, the physical and sexual level. The truth is the highest value in this connection is the bond you both share even more the relationship.
How would your relationship be different, if you followed this way of connecting in relationships?